The GOP is Running Out of People to Alienate

There was a time when party politics was about appealing to the majority of voters. Minimally, this meant getting people to feel like the party had their back in some way or another. However, for many groups the GOP increasingly seems to be asserting they not only don’t have their back, but they find the members of the group to be somehow unsuitable as members of society.

If you are part of, relate to, or support one of the groups below, you should know how the GOP feels about you or your loved ones:

Women – unscrupulous homicidal baby incubators who left unregulated and controlled would be hurling infants off seaside cliffs in hormonal rages.
Gays/Lesbians – an affront to God, family, and good clean living; they won’t rest until they’ve turned everyone gay and destroyed the institutions of marriage and parenthood.
Immigrants – the illegal ones are job-stealing leeches on the underbelly of society that should be deported just as soon as the crops are in; the legal ones are sketchy too—they talk funny.
Scientists – a cabal of liberal tree-hugging geeks in white lab coats bent on corrupting children, destroying religion, and crimping oil industry profits; except the ones working on smartphone technology—they’re okay.
Atheists – an evil, amoral, hedonistic scourge sent by Satan to lead the weak of faith straight to Hell and plunge America into darkness… which would be bad, unless it’s the End Times.
Poor People – lazy, shiftless, unmotivated, drug-addled drains on society; they need to get off their asses and out in the fields for sub-poverty wages so we can send all the damned illegals back home.
African Americans – entitled and lazy, they will resort to crime and drugs if they don’t get their food stamps and welfare checks; except pro athletes—they’re valuable.
Muslims – terrorists… all of them; this is America dammit, and we do not sit idly by while some freedom hating loonies with exploding underwear try to rob us of our religious freedom.
Hispanics – see Illegal Immigrants; and even those that are legal are only hear to try and figure out how to sneak all their friends and relatives over the border.
Future Seniors – current seniors are good to go; future seniors had better cinch up their Depends because this notion that you should have health care and a government pension is unsustainable; but don’t worry, if you do it right during your working years, then you’ll be rich enough to enjoy retirement; if you didn’t… well, try to die unobtrusively.

…and I’m sure I missed a few groups, or maybe the GOP just hasn’t gotten around to them yet.

I can’t fathom how alienating all these groups will help the GOP in the election as these groups represent some significant portions of the population. Their only election day salvation would seem to be keeping all these undesirables from the polls. Oh yeah, that’s already under way.

CPAC defends gay Republicans

Conservatives may have opposed the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and they may vehemently object to any notion of gay marriage, but CPAC (the Conservative Political Action Conference) is currently under attack for being too accommodating to homosexuals. In other news, pigs are flying and bears are now exclusively using indoor plumbing.

GOProud is a gay conservative advocacy group, which is a little like being a group of turkeys dedicated to traditional Thanksgiving celebrations. Still, for the second year in a row they are co-sponsors of the annual CPAC event. In recognition of the cognitive dissonance it takes to belong to GOProud, several other groups have announced they will be boycotting the event.

The American Principles Project announced last month it wouldn’t attend CPAC for fear of catching the gay. Specifically, Executive Director Andy Blom announced. “By allowing GOProud to be a prominent part of CPAC 2011, Mr, Keane and the American Conservative Union have demonstrated a dangerous disregard for the importance of faith, marriage, and the family in our conservative values.”

Piling on, but in a strictly manly platonic non-gay way, the Family Research Council and Concerned Women for America have now also refused to attend. CWA President Penny Nance said, “CWA has decided not to participate in part because of GOProud.” Apparently she pines for the good old days before women had to compete with gays to be the oppressed group.

The organizations American Values, Capital Research Center, the Center for Military Readiness, Liberty Counsel, and the National Organization for Marriage are also declining participation this year.

Given the level of defection from key constituencies, the fact that CPAC has stuck to their guns and retained GOProud’s prominent role in the conference is unexpected and downright refreshing. It will surprise no one if the other shoe falls sometime prior to the February event and GOProud gets sent to the back of the bus. But for the time being, I’m typing words I never thought would flow off my fingers:

Well done CPAC.