How to Scratch that Itch

Scratch ChairI’m unsure why someone wants an uncomfortable chair with a built-in back scratcher, but should you be in the market, then here you go.  There’s a hidden touchpad under the seat that allows you to position the little scratching device exactly where it needs to be.  So there’s no excuse for not finding that sweet spot you’re itching to get scratched.

However, this thing does lack the feel or appeal of a lady’s long fingernails on your back.  And it seems to lack any ability to get the scratcher to hunt around your back in a pattern or random motion.  Ideally, it needs a little voice activator that responds to things like “ahhhh”, “up a little”, “to the left”, “oh yes!”

On a whole, given that I can’t have Kim’s fingers at my disposal, I’m more inclined toward my dad’s solution to getting an on-demand back scratch.  He always wanted a rough bark tree growing in the middle of the house that he could just rub up and down on like a big ol’ grizzly bear.  And let’s face it, the tree would look more attractive than this chair in the living room.

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