Roswell’s Area 51 scientists are eating humble pie this week. It has come to light that the Bulgarian Space Research Institute has established contact with aliens.

It figures. All those billions we spent on NASA, and the Russian’s on their space program. Even the Japanese, Indian, and most recently Chinese have ventured craft into orbit. And the ungrateful turds make contact in Bulgaria. Damn their space-borne hankering for a good schnitzel!

Lachezar Filipov, deputy director of the institute said:

“Aliens are currently all around us and are watching us all the time. They are not hostile towards us, rather, they want to help us but we have not grown enough in order to establish direct contact with them”

In other words, they are just big intergalactic teases.

Presumably, Roswell shot back:

“Uh uh!!!” and… “Your mother wears pointy ears!”