Global Warming Ends Now!

It’s gone far enough. I was nonplussed by melting ice caps, dwindling polar bear populations, and flooded coastal cities. But when global warming starts to impact beer production, we have to draw a line.

The quality of hops has been decreasing year on year for decades and is reaching critical levels of low crop yield and acidity. If we don’t act soon, we’ll be drinking hopless beer, which is, well… cereal in a glass.

It’s time to replace all those incandescent bulbs, install solar panels on the roof, trade in the Ram on a Prius, and… oh, who am I kidding? I just need to make room in the basement for a 50-year supply of beer and start stocking up.

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