Kim and I have been in a committed exclusive relationship for almost 7 years now, yet we still live 20 miles apart in separate homes. But what I didn’t know until today was that we are part of a growing demographic and even have out own acronym. We are a LAT – Living Apart Together. We are like Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick and many other less famous couples who live in a divided state for a variety of reasons. Still, despite the arrangement being highlighted in a recent issue of Elle magazine, it doesn’t feel as trendy as the article makes it sound.
In our case, we both expect that our LAT status isn’t permanent. It’s just a bit of logistical reality created by our kids who are tied to school districts on opposite sides of the county. And we both agree, they are our current priority. But it won’t be long and they’ll head off to college, and we’ll get ourselves sorted into a more traditional demographic.
In the mean time, as the article states and one of Kim’s friends recently noted, there are some advantages to the arrangement. There’s a definite sense of longing and anticipation that comes with being apart for a few days. I look forward to evenings or weekends we spend together in a way that doesn’t really seem to happen when you wake up in and come home to the same house every day. On the other hand, it’s much harder to stay connected on all the little things. And there are certainly times where you want to connect, even just briefly, in a way where a phone or a text message just doesn’t suffice.
I have no regrets about our LAT time. It was and remains the best solution for our situation. But we are close enough to the end of that road now that we are beginning to plan for just plain old LT (Living Together), and looking forward to that. So it’s not really that I’m enamored of being a LAT. It’s just that I found it incredible that I was part of a trend covered in a fashion magazine. That’s not likely to happen again.