This Just In!

A new study shows that women are more attracted to men based on wealth and status. The study concluded that:

“It’s not a recent phenomenon. It is very ingrained and the evidence is not just anecdotal.

“Females focus on questions of wealth and status because if the male possesses those, that male would be in a better condition to rear healthy offspring.”

The researcher, Dr. Michael Dunn, exhibiting that he has no fear of death or loneliness, went on to admit that his research could also be interpreted as evidence that women are shallower than men. He said: “Let’s face it – there’s evidence to support it.” Dr. Dunn went on to demonstrate his contrasting male complexity and depth by remarking about the waitress who had just taken his drink order, “Get a load of the hooters on her!”

Also in the news, the Pope is Catholic, and bear poops in woods.

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