Why There Are No Coke-heads in Iowa

As if we needed more evidence that Cocaine and Corn don’t mix.

A driver who was high on cocaine destroyed an entire cornfield in an attempt to escape from the police.

Four police cars were destroyed before the 35-year-old crashed into a ditch and was arrested, near the village of Dussen in the south of the Netherlands.

The Duke boys and Boss Hogg couldn’t have done a better job.

Baseball’s Been Very Very Good to Elliott

Demonstrating yet again why baseball is America’s pastime, the Macon Music, a minor league team from Georgia, have announced they will have Elliott Spitzer Night at the ballpark.

The plans call for an invitation extended to Spitzer to attend the game and throw out the first pitch. Other elements for the promotion include:

– The Music will give away a trip to New York and a one-night stay at the Mayflower Hotel.

– The ninth fan – or Client No. 9, as Spitzer was known in the prostitution ring – into the ballpark will receive a free Music prize pack.

– Fans with the name Eliot, Spitzer or Kristen, along with any fan from New York, will receive $1 off admission. Any fan who has ever resigned a position will also receive $1 off admission.

– The Music will play Frank Sinatra songs throughout the night.

– Wire taps will be placed around the stadium.

– Fans will be able to use ATMs in the ballpark available for cash withdrawals not to exceed $5,000 per hour.

– The 871st fan through the gates will receive a gift certificate for the team store.


Is Spitzer Foreshadowing Obama?

The news is that NY Governor Elliott Spitzer is “involved” with a federal prostitution ring investigation. Of course he’s claiming it’s a private matter between him and his family, and in part he’s right. But I’m still disappointed. He rode by wide margin to an election victory on a message of hope and change. New Yorkers were captivated by a man who told a good story and was going to set the badly damaged government of the state on track. Yet less than 2 years into his term, he’s been rocked by two significant scandals of his own making. Each of which I could get by if he were showing any promise of delivering on the “new deal” he was supposed to deliver. But so far, he has been decidedly impotent, well, at least legislatively.

The parallels between Spitzer and Obama are frightening. They are both young mavericks leading the charge for change against the great cogs of the status quo. They are both promising there will be no more business as usual. Now I’m not suggesting that Obama is destined for scandal or will cheat on his wife. But I do wonder if, like Spitzer, his reach will far exceed his grasp. That we’ll find come 2010 that the man who promised so much has found that will and optimism don’t buy squat in a highly politicized arena.

Now maybe it’s unfair to saddle Obama with Spitzer’s legacy. Obviously, his mileage will vary. But it is food for thought. Sometimes feeling good is just not enough.

Who Says America Doesn’t Innovate??

Proving yet again that this country is chock full of the innovative ideas that will propel us to prosperity in the 21st century and beyond (or maybe just that necessity is the mother of invention), I submit the “beer belt.”

I can’t help but think that the marketing is wrong though. While it appeals to guys, it doesn’t really meet the need as a personal aid since there is no cooling or insulation provided. Unless you’re going out to shovel snow, this is just going to result in warm beer. However, think about your lady wearing this… maybe with a Daisy Duke type outfit… mmmmmmm. Tool Time meets Spring Break. Maybe I’ll buy Kim one of these for my birthday.

This device could have some use as an athletic supporter for this guy. He’s over 100 years old and planning to run a marathon. Key quote:

Martin says that in the last weekend, he’s completed a 13-mile half marathon that took him a little more than five hours. It would have been faster, he says, but he says he stopped for a beer and a cigarette.

My kinda athlete…