A friend of mine used to refer to days like the impending Valentine’s Day as “holy days of obligation”. Much like the real Catholic Holy Days of Obligation, you had duties you needed to perform, or else you risked eternal damnation. These were days with very little upside. They were mostly opportunities to fail, and guys (in general) were having a good day if they didn’t crash and burn. Most of us are lucky to have a lifetime total of a handful of jewelry store commercial moments where you manage to do something she’ll treasure forever. And even pulling off such a feat is fraught with danger, for you’ve risked raising the bar such that next year that is the new base level of expectation.

Now in fairness, my lady is really exceptional about this sort of thing. At least for all the Hallmark Holidays, it’s nice if I remember, but there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of downside to letting the day pass by. But the conditioning from your childhood still looms. The trepidation is part of our male culture more than it’s based on our personal experience.

Which is why a recent question from a young lady with a new boyfriend caught me by surprise. “What do boys want for Valentine’s Day?”

My initial reaction was mostly trying not to snicker. I’d never really ever thought about this. The idea that boys would have an expectation for such a holiday just seems a foreign notion. From the boys’ perspective, these holidays are all about girls. You see, even when boys are on the receiving end of a gift from a girl, they are mostly concerned about whether or not they are having the appropriate reaction to the present. After all, girls seem to put so much thought and consideration into choosing even a card. They expect you to be appreciative, and more importantly, touched by their effort and their sentiment. Again, an opportunity for a guy to fail. So this is kind of a double-whammy for guys. There’s pressure on both the giving and the receiving end. From that perspective, not doing anything for your guy at least takes half the burden away – a gift in itself. If you really want to make an impression, feign being thrilled over whatever lame thing he brought you (or didn’t), and you’ve made his day.

When you get right down to it, what guys want most for Valentine’s Day is for it to be over.