The Month In Review

I thought maybe I’d just share some of the highpoints of my past month:

  • I can’t wait for the kids to return to school. They are restless and miserable and bickering and they need something to do.
  • Job cuts of 30% are announced in my group at work. But final decisions won’t be made for a month yet, so don’t worry ’til then. Right.
  • The school tax bill arrives, which reminds me that enlisting the boys in the military would be a cheaper alternative.
  • The terror alert is raised to “guys with WMD’s are probably hiding in your basement.” This reminds me that election day is coming, and makes me wonder if any of those guys in the basement would be willing to chip in for the school taxes.
  • The Pope says Muslims are violent. Hugo Chavez says that Bush is the Devil. Bill Clinton says Fox News coddles the political right. Jerry Fallwell says that running against Hillary on ’08 would be like running against Lucifer. All of which leads me to conclude that pretty much everyone’s speech writer must be taking kickbacks from Jay Leno and Jon Stewart as this kind of late night satire fodder just doesn’t happen by accident.
  • The “fund raiser” tax arrives, whereby I’m coerced into buying all manner of useless overpriced stuff in the interest of supporting various school activities because inconceivably my school taxes don’t cover it. But at least the volleyball team is selling expensive pies this year. Blueberry… yum.
  • There’s swimming, volleyball, bible quiz, gymnastics, and cheerleading so far. But only because drama club and challenge bowl haven’t started yet. I look forward to work because it’s the only period of the day where I’m not driving someone somewhere or attending a game/meet/match/competition. I regret ever wishing the kids had something to do.
  • Pretty much everyone is sick. The kids have been together in school long enough for the germs to mutate into new virulent mucus producing strains, which the kids then take home and share at dinner. I’d be sick too except that we never have time for dinner anymore.
  • I landed a new job in the big yellow box. Instead of caring about what happens after people buy our products, I’m going to the other end of the cycle and create the products that annoy them in the first place. Cool.
  • I miss my Beauty. We used to spend time together. Now we just trade emails where we fantasize about life after the kids go to college. At least we get to see each other in the bleachers now and again.
  • How long until summer vacation?

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