A Little Moderation Please

Sherry Argov has a new book titled, “Why Men Marry Bitches: A Woman’s Guide to Winning Her Man’s Heart.” My initial reaction was that maybe they do, but they don’t stay married to them. The author is right, men tend not to respect weak needy women. While being served a cold beer by your babe in lingerie is a great fantasy moment now and again. It gets tired (or so I would suspect) on a daily basis. Women who exude confidence and are able to manage their own lives are absolutely sexier.

However, American Heritage Dictionary defines “bitch” as a “woman considered to be lewd, spiteful, or overbearing.” The notion of “confidence” doesn’t seem to appear anywhere. And this is concerning because (and I’ll be so bold as to speak for all men here) naked with beer has a hell of a lot more appeal than spiteful and overbearing – any day, in any quantity.

In reading the review further though, I think the title is mostly designed to grab your attention from the bookshelf at Barnes & Noble. Argov is advocating that women not be bitchy in the conventional sense. Rather she has redefined it to be women simply being less malleable, true to themselves, and in charge of their own lives. But she doesn’t seem to go so far as to suggest that women become shrews. Pfewww…

The book is clearly written to encourage the passive needy bride wannabes to grow a little spine. But I also think the book, “Why Men Divorce Bitches” should really be her next effort to balance this out. There are certainly more than a few women out there who’ve over-mastered the bitchy angle. I believe that for women, finding the balance between being confident and assertive and being aggressive and overbearing is a challenge. Our culture offers them a pretty narrow line to walk. In many ways, I think the struggle men find in balancing being sensitive without being wimpy is a similar tight rope to tread.

One quote in particular bears note. It is attributed to Sophia Loren. She said, “Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” I couldn’t agree more. And remember, that beauty reflecting through your eyes is perfectly complimented by garters and a cold lager – at least every now and again.

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