In Case of Emergency: Remove Bra

There are any number of reasons women are good to have around.  Here’s something to add to the list.  In the event of a disaster with lots of airborne particulates… say a volcano, a dirty bomb, a collapsing skyscraper, or even a fire… your honey’s undergarments may be the key to both of you surviving.  That is, assuming she’s wearing the Emergency Bra.

This bra not only lifts and separates (or whatever it is bras usually do), but its cups are haz-mat breathing filters.  It may be quickly disassembled into two functional and sexy masks.  The theory being that when the alternative is sucking in lungfuls of radioactive dust, most anyone’s willing to have a red laced boob cover on their face.

This puts women at a unique advantage in a disaster situation.  As the inventor of this multi-tasker explained:

Ladies and gentlemen, isn’t that wonderful that women have two breasts, not just one? We can save not only our own life, but also the life of a man of our choice next to us.

So be on your best behavior boys.  When the apocalypse comes, you don’t want to be in the dog house.  And hopefully, the emergency bra won’t be in the laundry basket.

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