Norris TPIt seems that unless you are Chuck Norris (who’s toilet paper is shown to the right), you may be in for a rough ride.  The paperless office is finally arriving, and its impact is being felt in bathrooms around the world.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always thought of toilet paper as almost a kind of scrap paper, certainly not something at the top of the paper food chain.  But it turns out that to get that silky smooth texture we all depend on, requires the use of long cellulose fibers with intact cell walls.  And this is the stuff of freshly harvested young trees or recycled high quality paper.

The eco-movement has made it less attractive to chop down baby trees just so you can have it baby soft on your butt.  And the decline of paper use for printing has resulted in lower amounts of recycled long fiber paper, which means they can’t Charmanize the blue bucket either.

The end result may be that you wind up paying more for quilted comfort in your nether region.  Or you opt to live with scratchier paper.  Not to fear though, science is on the job.  Chemical companies are working to develop new coatings and other additives that can improve the softness, strength, and performance of shorter fiber products.  Alternatively, maybe someone will figure out the three seashells.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *