In what may be the worst attempted getaway in the annals of burglary, Christopher L. Schaumburger ran from the house he was caught illegally entering. Okay, that’s not the dumb part. When the homeowner catches you ransacking the place, running away is a good start.
Running to a car, motorcycle or other fast transit is often the reasonable next step, but Schaumburger made do with a bicycle he found along his exit route. Not great, but making do. A bicycle certainly gets you away from the angry homeowner who’s on foot. But by now, the police had entered the chase, and in the battle of bike vs. police car, well… I’m going with the cop cruiser.
Not to fear, our intrepid criminal was about to go all Miami Vice on the Fuzz. Biking his heart out he made it to the nearby lake shore where, after a quick survey of the dock, he commandeered… wait for it… a pedal boat.
The police arrived moments later, and giggled amongst themselves while Schaumburger headed at top speed for the other shore. After a fashion, they asked a nearby owner of a Pontoon Boat to take them out and intercept their perp, who by now was several hundred feet away and sweating profusely.
A word of advice to would-be criminals in the midst of a getaway. If your chosen mode of escape can be easily overtaken by a Pontoon Boat, or for that matter a family of ducks, you may have not chosen wisely.