Creators.com syndicates a number of newspaper features that are run in local papers around the country. One of their advice columnists, Dr. Robert Wallace, authors an Ann Landers styled piece called ‘Tween 12 and 20″ that is geared toward teenage troubles. This was the lead letter his most recent column:

DR. WALLACE: I am a Christian. My boyfriend is a wonderful fellow, but he happens to be an atheist and says he will remain an atheist until the day he leaves this earth.

I love Jake and he loves me, and we plan to get married in a year. My parents are also Christians and are against me marrying an atheist. They are horrified at the thought. I keep telling them that once we are married, I feel I can help him to become a Christian, but my parents do not see it as a possibility.

What do you think? I will never become a non-believing atheist. —Nameless, Lake Charles, La.

NAMELESS: I think it would be a big mistake to enter into marriage with the idea that you can encourage your husband to convert from an atheist to a Christian, since you will never become an atheist. If you believe this is possible, this conversion should take place before the marriage.

I can understand why your parents are horrified. Their Christian daughter is about to marry an atheist. If you do your very best to convince Jake to become a Christian and he refuses, forget about marriage. It would also be difficult for Jake to be married to a non-atheist. You both need to find more compatible future mates.

Wallace begins his response on solid ground. Entering marriage with any sort of Pygmalion Project in mind for your future spouse is a recipe for disaster. This is true whether you expect them to change religions, quit smoking, give up video gaming, or simply start picking up after themselves. If you can’t accept your prospective partner for who they are now, get out while you can.

Then Wallace heads off into the land of the ignorant and insensitive. He understands why her parents are “horrified”? Really? Horrified? Concerned maybe, but horrified? If she was planning to marry a man of a different race and Wallace empathized with their horror he’d be loudly vilified. He then goes on to assert that atheists and theists are incompatible mates. This is a broad generalization, one that 50 years ago might have been said about mixed-race couples, but today would earn you a well deserved racist label.

Certainly, every couple must work through their differences and come to some agreement on how to coexist. Religion is but one of many components. Managing money, rearing children, and how to properly install the toilet paper roll must also be dealt with. But the notion that two people of different faiths cannot marry is beyond naive.

I strongly suspect that if Jake were Jewish, Wallace’s advice would not have been the same. I suspect he might have urged the parents to be tolerant, and urged the girl to make sure they had understandings about how the kids would be raised, how holidays would be celebrated, and so forth before tying the knot. His advice regarding an atheist shouldn’t be different.

The young couple clearly have some level of tolerance for each other’s religious positions already. Yes, some atheists could never respect a theistic spouse’s faith, and some Christians would never entertain being unevenly yoked. But I suspect if either of those positions were true, they wouldn’t be talking about getting married a year from now. Further, it’s not clear from her letter that she’s so concerned about turning him Christian. Rather, it seems to be a bone she’s throwing to her intolerant parents.

Yes, they both need to proceed with caution and maturity. Good advice for any young couple. But for Wallace to determine they “both need to find more compatible future mates” is misguided, ignorant, intolerant, and okay… stupid.