My 14-year old son has always been on the slender side (of those kids in the commercials that you can feed for just pennies a day). The family has always considered this just his natural body style. In fact, I had assumed this would be an advantage as when he went away to college and packed on the “Freshman 15” as he’d plump right up to skinny.

However, recently he’s been diagnosed with an eating disorder, which in retrospect seems so obvious. Yet unlike anorexia or bulimia, Missing Esophageal Spot SYndrome has only recently been classified as a medical disorder and gets very little press. So far it doesn’t even have its own fund raising walk-a-thon. And while this disorder is hard on its victims, it is perhaps the parents of MESSY children who suffer the most.

Meal times become much more arduous as not only must the pots and pans be cleaned up afterward, but the wide area debris field around the MESSY child must be dealt with as well. In my son’s case, doctors estimate that up to 30% of the calories approaching his face ultimately wind up on the floor. Calories he desperately needs if he’s ever going to get his BMI back into positive numbers.

No one knows what causes MESSY. Some speculate that the density of the chins of MESSY people must be so great the chin begins to exert its own gravitational field, thereby deflecting food off the approaching fork. Others believe that MESSY people are subconsciously perceptive to the presence of pan-dimensional dogs, invisible in our reality, who use subspace telekinesis to knock food bits to the floor.

Clearly there is much left to learn. We have a long way to go before this dreadful malady can be conquered, and peace and cleanliness can be brought to the dinner table again. Please, support the cause if you can. If you’re unable to give monetarily, considering donating unused cleaning supplies or just stopping by to mop my floor once in awhile.