Sure she’s a career criminal, and she’s certainly not destined to be America’s next top model, but this lady has talent. She walked into a convenience store, stuck a case of beer between her legs under her dress, and waddled out. The whole thing was (unfortunately for her, fortunately for us) caught on the surveillance tape. We’re not talking a six or even a twelve pack here, but a full 20 pound case of beer.

I’m thinking this could be a way to boost the fading television ratings of the long since jumped the shark Miss America beauty pageant. Bag all that silly flute playing and tap dancing that makes up the talent portion and make every contestant do a mandatory beer waddle. Combine it with the swimsuit competition and the whole thing could be stuffed into a half-hour time slot. Strut up in your bikini. Don an oversize housecoat. Then stash a case of cold ones between your knees and head across the stage. Whoever gets the farthest takes home the tiara. Guaranteed must-see TV.