It’s not just Captain Kirk who’s gonna be seducing sexy sirens of the stars, it could be you too. Introducing the Axe body spray of the 23rd Century. “Set to stun, these fully licensed fragrances boldly go where no scents have gone before.”

If the bold smell of Tiberius is just too much for your milquetoast self, consider a little dash of Red Shirt. Let your lady know you probably only have about 10 minutes to live, and you know how you’d like to spend them.

For the ladies, consider boiling your overly logical boyfriend’s blood with a little Pon Farr. Nothing says “I love you” like killing your best friend in a dual to the death.

Isn’t it nice that it’s still August, and already you have something in mind for stocking stuffers and those pesky office Christmas party gifts?