We are rapidly closing in on the end of July. I am still mowing my lawn every 5 days. That’s just wrong. By this time in the season I should be at double that, such that by August my lawn has achieved that delightful crispy brown palette which signifies I can go a full two weeks between thinning the weeds. By now there should be a stark contrast between my neglected yard and my neighbor’s well watered, treated, and manicured lawn. But you can barely tell where the line between our properties is.

Some lament that this cool wet summer is messing with their tan line aspirations, or perhaps they feel they lack ample ambient temperature to achieve their desired perspirations. I’m fine with all that. I just want to stop mowing already. I want to feel the crunch of grass corpses beneath my feet. It is time. It is past time. Bring on the Global Warming.