Okay, we all have those little bizarre daydream fantasies, right? It’s just that most of us are smart enough to keep them to themselves. But I have blog space to fill, sooo…

From Ft. Meyers Florida comes a story of a small plane who’s pilot dies in flight, and it’s landed by one of the passengers. I so want to do that. Not die in flight, but rather land a plane in an emergency. Sure, the guy in the story was already a pilot who just wasn’t certified on that aircraft. I’m starting a little further away from qualified. Like sort of not so much really at all. But hey, I can drive trucks, buses, boats, and flight simulators. I know the difference between an aileron and an elevator, and I’ve demonstrated Bernoulli’s Law to many a grade school science class. I can even come up with pithy snappy banter I’d have with the ground crew. (Hopefully someone would be making a YouTube video of the event.)

I would be willing to bet that in any random collection of passengers that I’d have a better than average chance of pulling a landing off. Although I recognize that this still leaves an enormous window of opportunity for the fireball crater conclusion to the flight. But at least I’d go down with the confidence that I had a chance, not wailing in terror—at least right up until the last few seconds. I reserve the right to scream like a little girl then.

And yes, I realize this is stupid. And no, I would never do anything to intentionally jeopardize a flight, so it’s safe to get on a plane with me. Maybe it’s just that in this unlikely scenario, given the absence of an actual pilot on board, why not let me take a crack at it since we’re all gonna die anyway?

This has been your cheery uplifting thought for the day.