I don’t care how talented you are with digital photo editing… some things should just not be done. Period. Shame on you.

Maybe you’ve never seriously thought about taking up knitting because it was so grandmotherly. I mean sure, NFL defensive lineman Rosie Grier tried to make it cool back in the 70’s, and while I wouldn’t want to be the one to explain it to him, it still seemed pretty lame. But maybe that was simply because of a lack of really sick creative ideas for knit projects.

I spent a lovely time in Niagara Falls last weekend with Kim where we laughed at a comedy club, listened to a cover band (who to Kim’s disappointment didn’t know any Rush songs), and lost a small requisite sum to the casino. A nice getaway all-in-all.

However, I was a little surprised when I checked my credit card mid-week and found an extra charge from the hotel that I couldn’t explain. I called and they politely explained this was a mini-bar charge for the deodorant and Gummi Bears we used. I laughed, being pretty certain that no one had woken up particularly stinky and hungry and assured them these charges were wrong. They didn’t blink, and agreed to credit me explaining that sometimes these mistakes happen. Okay… no harm, no foul.

But then today, I discovered this. Apparently in nearby Buffalo, a man was found traveling without a ticket on Metro Rail. Upon investigation, police discovered 44 stolen containers of deodorant stuffed down his pants. This explains so much. I’m guessing he must have eaten our Gummi Bears already.

The folks at Thanko have introduced a must have product for all you ladies out there in a perpetual state of winter chill while at your computer. Now you can take that shiver off with the new USB powered bust warmer. These toasty little pads plug right into one of those unused USB ports on your laptop and promise to take the nip out of your office. While not advertised for such use, it’s not clear to me why these pads have to be worn inside your bra. Presumably you could tuck them into any frigid spot you needed. What it doesn’t explain is how you justify to your co-workers why you have to undock your sweater before joining them for a trip to the coffee machine.

As everyone knows, the Obama inauguration was Tuesday. Millions showed up to watch in person. Kim took the day off of work to watch on CNN. It was, by all accounts a history making day. But I don’t get it. To me, while I’m certainly looking forward to Obama delivering on even a fraction of all the hopes and dreams we’ve laid on his shoulders, the swearing in was a non-event.

Perhaps I’m just too logical about the whole thing, but for me the exciting part was his being elected in the first place. Once that happened, the inauguration was inevitable. It was just pomp and circumstance sprinkled with rhetorical blather. It was window dressing. And perhaps it was also indicative of the American fascination with celebrity for its own sake. As if the celebration itself makes the future brighter. I don’t care if Michelle was resplendent. I don’t care if the girls were adorable. I don’t care if the speech was emotionally uplifting. I don’t care what Rick Warren had to say, nor that Obama said, “so help me God.”

We are deep in the soup here, and while I suppose we can use a shot of collective optimism, that isn’t going to have much efficacy in the long run. We need demonstrable and purposeful leadership. We need cooperation and sacrifice and compromise. The words and the ceremony are all nice, but show me the money. Then we’ll celebrate.