In breaking news from Kassel, Germany comes a report of the spillage of 800 liters of beer into the road. The bottles smashed and the resulting puddle quickly turned into a frozen lake of brew given the icy temperatures.

Germany’s elite Oktoberfest Squad was dispatched to the scene, but despite their best efforts the lederhosen laden lads lacked the lapping legerdemain to launder the land while the lake was liquid. The luckless leadfoot lorry lout liable for the loose load was later lynched by the locals.

…or something like that.