The banks at the end of the driveway are now taller than I am. I’m all for a white Christmas and all, but can we give it a rest with the snow already?

Honestly, I’m not searching for this stuff, it just finds me.

Guests at the Atlantis resort in the Bahamas might have been surprised recently when one of the resort’s reef sharks decided to take a turn on the water slide and wound up in the main pool. Apparently, it jumped from it’s tank in the adjacent aquarium and landed on the slide.

I can picture all the guests trying to contain their panic as they tried to calm the beast by nervously singing:

Oh holy crap!
There’s a big shark in our pool now
It is the day of our dear final breath!
Quick may he chew, we hope our death is speedy
Not like the Guard who jumped in and was his lunch.
A thrill of fear, yet I feel so warm with glee
Oh wait, never mind, it was just that I peed.

Swim for your lives
Oh feel the teeth a’ grinding
Oh why didn’t I?
Stay at the Ramada
Oh why didn’t I?
Oh why didn’t I?

At which point the shark took pity on them and died. It was either the singing or the chlorinated water that did him in. We report, you decide.