BULLETIN – Scientists at Loch Lomond aquarium in Scotland have announced a plan to test how sharks react to Christmas songs. They have plans to play a wide variety of holiday melodies to them and determine how the sharks react. Apparently all the useful science fair projects had already been claimed.

Nonetheless, I suspect the Boy Scout’s Full Shark Watch method is as error prone as the Full Hippo Watch. So it may be useful to know that calmly crooning White Christmas to the approaching tooth laden jaws of death may cause the shark to rethink you as the main course at lunch. And while in the event of a shark attack this might save your life, it will not save your swim suit. The suit will still be soiled.