Once again I am confronted with the reality that I have the wrong job. Adam Richman has a job hosting a show on the Travel Channel called Man v. Food. Incredibly, he gets paid to travel around the country to iconic little dives and consume monster burgers, atomic wings, nuclear class subs, week long Sundaes, and other gastronomic atrocities that are allegedly inedible. Not inedible in a Fear Factor sort of a way. This is not gross food, just gross quantities to create that lovely need-a-nap feeling, or high Scoville scale treats that are going to be way more painful the next day than they were when they were filming. But still, this is the sort of on-the-job danger I could cope with.

Let’s be clear… he gets paid for this. When I think of all the years of unwitting training I’ve put in. I wasn’t even smart enough to think this was a hobby, much less a career path. I have so much to learn.