Dramatic to the End

It’s hard for those us us who are something less than clinically deranged to appreciate the sort of determination and will it takes to cut you own head off with a chainsaw. When I first spied this headline I thought it would tell of some sort of freakish accident. Given that I had recently taught my son to use a chainsaw, I thought perhaps this would provide a good case-in-point lesson. After all, his pre-sawing education included lots of overly graphic explanations of how your limbs are very much softer than wood and therefore the use of the tool warranted extreme caution.

The reality that this was a suicide is frankly a little hard to grasp.

Desperate David Phyall, 50, plugged the electric chainsaw into the mains and attached a timer to the socket.

He then wrapped sellotape around the machine’s trigger to secure it in the ‘on’ position and tied the handle of the saw to a table leg to hold it steady.

Mr Phyall rested the saw on his neck and waited for the timer to go off.

The Black and Decker chainsaw sliced through his neck in an instant but kept going for a further 15 minutes.

Just… ewwww. What state of mind leaves you resting calmly on a saw rigged to a timer you know is going to go off? And did he really think he needed 15 minutes of sawing to get through his neck? Apparently the guy was trying to make a statement, and I think it’s fair to bet that no one will soon forget his deed. But damn!

Personally, I could not bring myself to such an end. If for no other reason than the colossal mess it would make.

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