I have discovered Introvert Hell. The mere idea that Cuddle Parties exist make every introverted bone in my body (at last count, all 206 of them) shudder in eternal terror.

Why on Earth would sane people voluntarily attend a Cuddle Party?? At what point did the idea of being in a Puppy Pile with complete strangers while dressed in your PJs become an appealing idea?? What if I don’t want to Moo like a cow? If, as the creators assert, this meets a basic human need, then I must renounce my humanity. I’ll be happy to join my son as a Plutonian refugee here to observe the oddities of human culture.