I had to do it. As part of investigating current trends of what people are doing with photos and videos it was only appropriate that I visit MySpace. I’m sorry. I regret it immensely. I’m trying to purge the experience from my mind.

On the plus side, there are lots and lots of images and videos there. Although, as near as I can figure, this is where cell phone images go to die. It would appear that people feel too attached to mis-focused over exposed accidental images of their left foot in a flip-flop to delete them. So they upload them to their MySpace page instead. Maybe I’m just too old for this, but wouldn’t the reportedly overly image conscious youth of today want to upload flattering photos of themselves?? Just an observation from an aging Boomer, but maybe a pix of you sloshing down a beer the size of a Big Gulp at the last kegger doesn’t put you in your best light.

And if the pictures aren’t bad enough, you should subject yourself to some of the text. I’m seriously considering a run for Congress just so I can introduce legislation to make it illegal for teenagers to blog. Most of the blogs read like transcripts of drunken phone conversations you missed the beginning of. And yes, I ended that last sentence in a preposition, but on MySpace that sentence would warrant a literary award. It’s all relative.

I also viewed a few of the most popular new videos to see what people were uploading. #1 on the list was of a teenager who threw a hot dog at his grandmother. She got annoyed, especially since she had just told him not to throw it. Apparently this is funny. Guess what Skippy? Grandma thought it was cute when you tossed strained peas at her from your highchair. Hurling hot dogs from behind a camera as a teenager… not so much. I hope she’s rich and writes him out of the will.

On the other hand, suddenly my kids seem creative, literate, and well behaved. See, it is all relative. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go wash my brain out with soap.