Well, he’s killed another one. Junior’s unending passion for Eggos has cost me a second toaster. I don’t know what the average life expectancy of the oft overlooked countertop appliance is, but I figure mine cooked about 1200 waffles prior to giving up the NiChrome ghost. For those in the mood for a little math, this equates to over 46 pounds of Eggos a year going into a kid who doesn’t weigh 64 pounds soaking wet. And these are just the waffles he eats here.

It’s obviously time to bring in the heavy armor. So yesterday I purchased Robo-Toaster. It’s a heavy duty chrome plated Eggo thawing machine replete with lots of pointless indicator lights and extra settings I’m sure I’ll never use. But it does look damn impressive on the counter. However, I doubt it’s any match for the Eggo-maniac.