Well, my company released its annual proxy statement this week. The CEO’s salary is up 16% and the COO’s salary is up 53% over the previous year. Plus they each got stock option packages totaling about a third of their annual salaries.

Employee raises are due out in a month or so, and obviously the executives realize that we are the reason they’ve had such a successful year. I have no doubt that our raises this year will be in double digits as well…

…and I’ll win the lottery, Bush will admit he made a mistake, and my kids will shower voluntarily.