Exhibiting a desire for controlling your personal life and a complete disregard for science usually only seen in Neo Cons, North Korea has launched this campaign. Now, if they only adopt No Child Left Behind and a firm crusade against gay marriage, we can rest assured that they’ll be too morally righteous to nuke us into next week.

Key quote: “It stressed the ‘negative effects’ of long hair on ‘human intelligence development’, noting that long hair ‘consumes a great deal of nutrition’ and could thus rob the brain of energy.”