So a couple of the girls at work corner me this morning and ask me what “gingham” means. I confessed upfront to being a little fuzzy, but offered that I thought it was some sort of light material, typically with a pattern.

They informed me that it was a checked pattern, often found on material, but the pattern was what was “gingham”. They then went on to explain that I was being recorded in their survey of men who do and don’t know what gingham is.

Apparently there are three buckets:

Those who know (damn few apparently)

Those who think they know but are, in fact, as wrong about this as they are about everything and are the reason women think men are dumber than table legs in the first place (I got put here)

Those who admit to not knowing but rationalize their ignorance by claiming it’s useless information anyway (these are the same guys who can usually list all 3,264 sponsors of any given NASCAR driver).

So hanging my head in shame I slink back to my cubicle and seek solace in a dictionary. It turns out gingham is very specifically a yarn-dyed woven cotton fabric. The typical pattern is just the natural result of weaving different colored threads, but ginghams can be in solid colors. It’s all how you dye it.

So while I still wasn’t correct either, I’m taking minor pride in bringing down the list-making women. And yes, I recognize that this is also the sort of behavior which causes women to think men are just stupid… but hey, I’m a guy. I can’t help it.

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