————————————————————————

I was passing through La Guardia airport a couple of days ago when one of those mini bill boards caught my eye. The sign read, “God created woman. After a few hundred million years practice, he made yours.”

I had to look again to even get it. A second glance spotted the diamond ring and the meaning began to sink in. I smiled as it did. The sentiment was kind of clever, and definitely unique.

Then the logic violation warning klaxons began to sound. A few hundred million? That many years ago, dinosaurs ruled the Earth and mammals max’ed out at the size of a beaver. God was apparently still in the very rough draft stage.

Now for creationists, not only was the timetable off by several hundred million years, but God’s fallibility was brought into play. And then the whole idea of using God’s name for commercial purposes. Lots of violations there.

And women… the sign clearly had a tone of ownership. “He made yours.” That ought to annoy feminists and/or independently minded women who are opposed to the notion that they exist as an extension of a man. And quite a few men who don’t feel women are chattel either.

So exactly who are the diamond people trying to sell to? All that’s left are men who aren’t too Christian, aspire to own a woman, and have a really bad handle on science. And as I walked along the concourse it occurred to me that this was probably an uncomfortably large portion of the population.

Maybe they know their market after all…