I think my eldest son has a point mass in his pocket. At least theoretically, a point mass should have an enormous gravitational field around it, which would explain a great deal. For instance, it would explain why towels, pillows, remote controls, etc. are mysteriously drawn to the floor whenever he’s near. He claims he never leaves them there, so there must be some other explanation. Further, extreme gravitational fields slow down the passage of time from the perspective of an external observer. This has to be why he appears to me to be stationary and yet claims he was busily working on what he was asked to do.

Come to think of it, this could be the pet rock of the new millennium. Since a point mass would be invisible, I wouldn’t even need to go through the trouble of putting anything other than an operator’s manual in the empty box. I could sell billions of them and be the bane of teachers and parents everywhere.

Maybe tomorrow… I’m tired.

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