{"id":1473,"date":"2010-02-13T07:45:33","date_gmt":"2010-02-13T12:45:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicholsclan.com\/tinblog\/?p=1473"},"modified":"2010-02-10T13:15:35","modified_gmt":"2010-02-10T18:15:35","slug":"heavy-petting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/2010\/02\/heavy-petting.html","title":{"rendered":"Heavy Petting"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"XKCD<\/a>Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and if you’re a guy you’re just hoping for a day where you don’t disappoint your honey and wind up in the dog house. \u00a0On the flip side, ladies get to sit in judgement all day of whether or not their guys deserve to sleep with the dogs. \u00a0What fun!<\/p>\n

So it really\u00a0shouldn’t\u00a0come as much of a surprise that a fifth of adults polled<\/a> say they’d rather spend the day with their pet than with their partner.<\/p>\n

Presumably that’s because pets have the whole unconditional love thing down to a science. \u00a0It’s the ultimate no-effort relationship. \u00a0As long as you remember to feed them, they’ll be there for you. \u00a0(And\u00a0should\u00a0you have trouble with that, have you considered a Dog-e-Minder?<\/a>)<\/p>\n

Fortunately for me, Kim has no pets. \u00a0In some ways, perhaps I am the pet. \u00a0She feeds me well, and isn’t above giving me a scruff or a scratch under my chin. \u00a0In turn, I get furrier by the year and more and more of my day is consumed by eating, napping, and other essential bodily functions. \u00a0It’s a nice gig.<\/p>\n

As the Toby Keith song says:<\/p>\n

They say that an old dog, can’t learn a new trick
\nWell she taught me to stay the first day and I learned real quick
\nThere’s a doghouse, a fence and a gate latch
\nI keep my tail waggin’ and I don’t mind beggin for a good scratch<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I used to howl at the moon, yeah I’ve been known to roam
\nThen I met this girl one day that brought this old stray home
\nI ain’t the same, she knows how to pull my chain<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Woof!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and if you’re a guy you’re just hoping for a day where you don’t disappoint your<\/p>\n

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