{"id":1368,"date":"2010-02-02T07:41:00","date_gmt":"2010-02-02T12:41:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nicholsclan.com\/tinblog\/2010\/02\/scotty-i-need-warp-speed-now.html"},"modified":"2010-02-07T00:30:14","modified_gmt":"2010-02-07T05:30:14","slug":"scotty-i-need-warp-speed-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/2010\/02\/scotty-i-need-warp-speed-now.html","title":{"rendered":"Scotty, I Need Warp Speed Now!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a style=\"\" onblur=\"try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}\" href=\"http:\/\/www.lllprd.org\/pix\/Pedal%20boat%201%20--%2001%20Sep%202002.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" style=\"margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.lllprd.org\/pix\/Pedal%20boat%201%20--%2001%20Sep%202002.jpg\" alt=\"\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a>In what may be the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.tampabay.com\/news\/publicsafety\/crime\/faulty-pedal-boat-sinks-burglary-suspects-getaway-deputies-say\/1068036\">worst attempted getaway<\/a> in the annals of burglary, Christopher L. Schaumburger ran from the house he was caught illegally entering.  Okay, that&#8217;s not the dumb part.  When the homeowner catches you ransacking the place, running away is a good start.<\/p>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Running to a car, motorcycle or other fast transit is often the reasonable next step, but Schaumburger made do with a bicycle he found along his exit route.  Not great, but making do.  A bicycle certainly gets you away from the angry homeowner who&#8217;s on foot.  But by now, the police had entered the chase, and in the battle of bike vs. police car, well&#8230; I&#8217;m going with the cop cruiser.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Not to fear, our intrepid criminal was about to go all Miami Vice on the Fuzz.  Biking his heart out he made it to the nearby lake shore where, after a quick survey of the dock, he commandeered&#8230; wait for it&#8230; a pedal boat.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The police arrived moments later, and giggled amongst themselves while Schaumburger headed at top speed for the other shore.  After a fashion, they asked a nearby owner of a Pontoon Boat to take them out and intercept their perp, who by now was several hundred feet away and sweating profusely.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>A word of advice to would-be criminals in the midst of a getaway.  If your chosen mode of escape can be easily overtaken by a Pontoon Boat, or for that matter a family of ducks, you may have not chosen wisely.<\/div>\n<div class=\"blogger-post-footer\">\n<h6><span style=\"font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;\">Brought to you by Tim&#8230;<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/\">-Read the whole blog here-<\/a><\/span><\/h6>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In what may be the worst attempted getaway in the annals of burglary, Christopher L. Schaumburger ran from the house<\/p>\n<p class=\"readmore\"><a href=\"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/2010\/02\/scotty-i-need-warp-speed-now.html\" title=\"Read Scotty, I Need Warp Speed Now!\">Read more &raquo;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1368","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-justforfun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1368","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1368"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1368\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1379,"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1368\/revisions\/1379"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1368"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1368"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/timscogitorium.com\/tinblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1368"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}