Apocalypse Preparedness

No one’s apocalypse kit would be complete without some nuclear grade duct tape. This stuff comes complete with its own nuclear certification of authenticity. Which presumably means that after the mushroom clouds subside, there will be somebody to sue in the event that the the tape fails and you are hideously mutated by radiation into some B-movie horror flick creature bent on stalking the lawyers who allowed this to happen to you. Order now, or the terrorists win!

Bad News for You

Oh well. While the trip through airport security was typically arduous, it wasn't exceptional. I did pop the metal detector, but was then only subjected to a quick pat down of my upper body. Which I guess means that any weaponry should be smuggled aboard in your pants' pockets. Good to know.

One thing I wasn't expecting though. Being in motion but visually stuck in the cabin is making me a little queasy. My eyes are unable to compensate for my lack of balance. It's not a horrible sensation. More like that feeling you get when an elevator takes off too quickly. But it seems it's going to last the whole flight, rather than a few seconds. One more thing to get used to I guess.

Ask Not for Whom the Bell Tolls

It’s been 18 months and a couple of days since they carved an access panel in the rear of my skull and installed a titanium door. And just a bit longer yet since I tried to board an airplane. In a couple hours, I’ll be making my first attempt to get through airport security with my new internal bling. I really have no idea if there’s now enough metal in my head to set off the detector or not. I suppose the good news is that even if I do set the bell off, it should be straightforward to wand my head. It’s not like they’re gonna do a cavity search of my ear (I hope), and where else am I gonna stuff something in back there?

So stay tuned. An uneventful trip would be good for me, but a TSA adventure would be better for you blog readers. Either way, someone wins.