Remember Those Stretch Armstrong Dolls??

Those of you over 30 will recall that Stretch Armstrong could wrap himself (with a little help from you) into anatomically improbable positions. This kid does the same thing, but without your help.

I don’t know if this actually qualifies as talent, but it has that sort of train wreck appeal. It makes you shudder, but you can’t look away. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need an aspirin just from watching.

Beware the Wobbly Bits

This one is for the ladies. An edition of a rare 1694 manual, The Ladies’ Dictionary: being a General Entertainment for the Fair Sex, is going up for auction next month. Get your checkbooks out as it’s expected to fetch somewhere around $1500. It could be worth it though as it cautions to limit oneself to gentle exercise and be wary of being too thin. Of course it also suggests that to tame those particularly flabby areas, you should brew up a foul mixture of chicken and goose grease, pine, rosin, pitch and turpentine in an earthenware pot. Then mix it with wax, cool it, and apply it “to the place that Languishes, or does not equally Thrive”, and allow to set into a plaster. Yum yum!

Davy & Goliath

It’s hard to stand up to injustice. Especially when the offender is twice your size, literally. My young nephew, at 5 years of age has taken up the gauntlet as defender of justice and the American Way. Perhaps it’s his fascination with superheros that’s influencing his behavior. Maybe it’s just his nature. But it’s hard to discourage him.

My older son, at 14, was teasing a couple of the other kids (who were 11 and 12) by taking one of their toys and playing “keep away” with it. The three of them were chasing each other around the yard and through the house, and all were having a good time of it. However, to a 5 year old’s eyes, this was a crime in progress.

Awhile after the commotion had stopped and my older son was sitting on the porch with many of the adults, my nephew came out and sheepishly but confidently announced that he had to talk to my son. He proceeded to ask how my son would feel if someone took his remote control boat away and wouldn’t give it back. And then went on to explain how taking things from others without permission was not a nice thing to do and that he should ask first.

My son tried to offer that they were just playing a game, but basically he took his licks and let my nephew have his say. The young boy returned to the house, content that he had righted a wrong.

We all kind of smiled about it afterward. It was damned cute anyway you look at it. And the nuances of the distinction between the “Mom he took my toy!” episodes which flood his world and the fun of playing a chase game where at heart everyone knows it’s a game, are clearly beyond him just yet. However, he had clearly given the episode considerable thought. This was not a reaction to a situation, but a confrontation after the fact. That took guts, and I’m proud of him for that. Not enough people in this world are willing to confront injustice, and hopefully his basic instinct here won’t get lost as he matures.

However, I’m pretty sure if his Omnitrix had been working that he’d have much preferred to confront my son as Fourarms. But Grey Matter handled the job well, despite his size. Well done young Ben… well done.

WARNING: Gays Are Destroying our Infrastructure

The 35W Bridge collapse in Minnesota was unarguably a horrible tragedy. A tragedy turned comedy by the indefatigable ability of our culture to overreact in hindsight. The deteriorating state of America’s infrastructure is hardly news to politicians or engineers, but suddenly it’s popular to care. This same sort of perverse closing the barn door after the horse is gone logic has us removing shoes at airports and viewing dusty envelopes with trepidation. Perhaps someday we’ll evolve beyond knee-jerk reactions fueled by 24-hour news coverage and actually make decisions based on sound reasoning and logic… yeah right… this is maybe the best evidence around that evolution is a farce. Perhaps the Intelligent Design crowd could use this line of reasoning.

If evolution actually worked, wouldn’t we have evolved to a point of not believing in silly things like Intelligent Design by now??

And speaking of evangelicals without the common sense of house plants, this comedy has now turned to farce. Reverend Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas (is there something in the water in Kansas?) have said they have plans to stage protests at funerals of victims of the 35W bridge collapse to state that God made the bridge fall because he hates America, and especially Minnesota, because of its tolerance of homosexuality.

Yes, that’s probably it. Global floods are soooo yesterday (unless you buy into the whole global warming thing). God is wiping the slate clean again, one bridge at a time. I suppose it’s a metaphorical message. We’ve been building bridges to the homosexual communities from mainstream America, and God has had enough of that. Those bridges will not stand. And God will continue to take out aging steel deck truss bridges through the divine power of rust until we, as a people, stand and drive the gays into the sea – which, might be noted, is a damn long walk from Minnesota.

Just Because You Can Build a Thing, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Witness the inflatable dress/chair. The chair you wear. Or is it the dress for rest. And by all means… click through to the link to see the video of this invention in action. Designer JooYoun Paek crafted this little slice of tomorrow from seven heavy-duty trash bags, two foot pumps, and a pair of slippers for the Unravel fashion show in San Diego this week I suppose the upside is that wearers of the dress will never again wonder if it makes their butt look big. They know it will.