Watch out for Turn 4
"4"
One of the simpler numbers. It equals 2+2 which makes it pretty
popular, and as Big Bird says, "It's just an angle and a
line." So if 4 is simple, why is turning 4 so damn
complicated?
You see, when Tyler turned 4 we had no other data points and just
assumed that when his brain turned to mush for a year it was a
dysfunction unique to him. But now Doug is 4. He has recently become
completely deaf and he's unable to focus on anything for more than a
few seconds without heading off on some irrelevant tangent. It's like
living with a Republican.
And sitting still. What happened to that? Doug used to join us at the
dinner table and sit quietly. He would pick at his food and linger at
the table long after everyone else had finished. Now, he suddenly can't
seem to get his little butt in the chair much less keep it there. Left
to his own he would make occasional strafing runs at the table to scarf
food, but otherwise stay in motion.
He was always the one who would cuddle up for a book or six. Now he
can't even get through his bedtime books without running to the toy
shelf or jumping up to reenact a scene you're reading. He used to go to
bed quietly, and fall right aslep. Now we spend half the evening
shooing him back upstairs.
It's almost as if their little brains catch on fire at this age. And
there are many nights I'd gladly douse their heads with a bucket of
water if I thought it would help.
We are all immersed in a world of excessive stimulation. I don't mean
the evil information overload you read about in the papers caused by
CNN, the Internet, and rap music. I mean the kind that every creature
on this planet faces. Look around you. In addition to what you are
focusing on (hopefully these words), what else is going on around you?
Is there a TV on? Are people talking? Is the cat in your lap? Is it
raining outside? Is the washer running? Is there a spider up in the
corner?
As adults, we've forgotten we ever learned how to weed out all the
stimulation. How to focus on the task at hand. What I see in 4-year
olds is a transition into awareness. Prior to this age, I think our
brains are hardwired to recognize what's important and weed out the
rest. In the same way that a cat is fascinated by things that move
because its brain is wired to see motion as a potential meal, a young
child gravitates to Mom, macaroni & cheese, and Telletubbies.
At 4 though, a child experiences what a cat never will. His mind is
opened to a flood of stimulation and information, and for the first
time he gets to make conscious decisions about what to do with the
input.
Imagine waking up one morning to find you are piloting the space
shuttle. The crew is shouting telemetry, Houston is barking orders, and
you are staring at whole bunch of cool looking buttons and levers
without a clue as to which does what. In a panic you might just start
flipping controls this way and that. Given enough time, you could
probably figure out what's what and land the craft safely back at the
Cape. More likely you'd be a spectacular fireball in the evening sky,
so maybe this analogy has run it's course.
But the point is (or at least was supposed to be), that when you are 4
you are faced with a lot of new data and a lot of new controls. If you
are ever going to get a handle on the body you've discovered you're
driving, then you are probably going to flail at the levers and buttons
for awhile. That seems to define the age pretty well.
I suppose that means as a parent, my job is to keep my kid in a flight
simulator until he learns to fly. That way, when he crashes he can hit
the reset button. Or maybe I should've given up on this analogy back
when I said I would.
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