Smart Rocks
It seems that Iraq has complained of late that our bombs... well, how to put this diplomatically... I dunno, I guess we'll just have to face the truth... apparently some of them have been exploding upon impact. Iraq is understandably distressed about this and has complained to the the U.S. that people are dying.
Now I'm not saying I'm in favor of all that death going on, but aren't they supposed to explode? Did anyone in the Airforce react to this news by calling in the defense contractors and demanding an explanation for the unanticipated explosions? Yet apparently the civil authorities in our country were shocked to find that the bombs they authorized dropping yielded destruction. So appalled were they that they immediately ordered the Airforce to begin using concrete bombs.
~ I am not making this up ~
That's right. Concrete. They fill the bomb casings with concrete, but leave all the sophisticated satellite links, laser guidance, and heat seeking stuff intact. The result is the world's most accurate rock. We are now hurling laser guided rocks at Iraq.
~ I am still not making this up ~
Several things trouble me about this strategy. Of course the obvious. The only remaining world superpower launches a $50 million plane on a mission over hostile territory where it launches a $30,000 rock in an attempt to destroy some critical enemy factory, or maybe just make an impressive pothole. This is where my tax dollars (and I suspect a few of yours) are being spent.
What troubles me more is that this was an option. Someone had considered it, planned for it, and even designed the bombs in such a way that they could be packed full of C4 or Sakrete. Your choice. Someone was at work one day when they thought, "You know, there just might be a need for a really high-tech rock in a military application." I would have loved to have been an engineer on the project when the guy in the uniform with all the medals came into the office for a design review and asked, "Could we maybe fill this baby with something more inert?"
Is it the intent of our government to convince the devout people of Iraq that God is angry because large rocks are falling out of the sky? Are they maybe thinking that since they can't eliminate Saddam directly that maybe they can get him to giggle himself to death while holed up in his rock proof bunker?
I have a better idea. This is a Muslim country where it's illegal for women to show their faces much less their ankles in public, right? Does anybody remember the Get Smart movie, The Nude Bomb? It concerned a weapon kind of like the neutron bomb except it only destroyed clothing. We could drop a couple of those puppies one afternoon and they'd all die of embarrassment before morning. Then we could charge them outrageous prices for a new wardrobe and bankrupt the survivors.
Where's Maxwell Smart when you need him?
