- Tyler's Kindergarten class was discussing teeth this
week. You know... how Tommy the Toothbrush keeps Timmy the
Tooth healthy... that sort of thing. Tyler announces to the
class that he wishes he were a baleen whale because they don't have
these sort of problems. The quick thinking teacher asks if
any kinds of whales do have teeth which might need brushing.
"Oh sure, there are toothed whales like the Killer Whale and the Sperm
Whale," announces the budding Cetacean Biologist. "But they
can't brush their teeth because their finger bones have turned into
flippers."
- Daddy's getting the boys in their jammies and Tyler's in
the mood to talk. He's already changed while his poky 3 year
old brother is just beginning to strip. Tyler asks if we can
talk about muscles. He wants to know their names, and how
they pair up. He's dead serious. We start naming
names: biceps and triceps; quadriceps and hamstrings,
deltoids and lats. He's glued to the conversation like your
paperboy to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.
Meanwhile Doug has finally found the state of naked. He walks
between us, sticks his butt out right in his brother's face, points to
it, and with perfect pronunciation says, "This is MY gluteus maximus."
- The other night we all went to a local greasy spoon known
as Abe's. It's a cute little place done in log cabin motif
with Abe Lincoln decorations everywhere. I get the log
cabin's connection to the Great Emancipator, but what this has to do
with cheeseburgers and onion rings eludes me. Nonetheless,
it's a great place to take the kids (meaning it's indestructible and
they serve french fries), and we have developed a pretty regular
routine. Carol takes the kids to find a table while I place
our regular order. On my way to join them I stop at the
condiment bar and get two plastic cups full of pickles which keep the
boys busy while we wait. The boys promptly inhale about a
dozen dill chips each and then do a shooter of pickle brine.
(Doug started this practice and Ty just winces and drinks so he's not
left out. I figure it's good training to survive fraternity
hazing in years to come.) So far, it's dinner as
usual. But dinner isn't here, the pickles are gone, and Doug
grows rapidly bored. You could see the light in his eyes as
he perked up, looked at Tyler and said, "Hey Tyler, teach me some
math." Ty started quizzing addition and subtraction.
Fortunately the place wasn't real crowded, but a young couple with a
little baby kept staring at our table with concerned looks on their
faces.
This was just this last week. This was not an unusual
week. Games of 20 questions often involve questions like are
you a mammal, or are you herbivorous? Last night Tyler was a
plesiosaurus. I guessed it on question 7.
I don't know where they get this from. I just hope
they begin to read before they perfect cold fusion.
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