The GOP is Running Out of People to Alienate

Danger Man CaveThere was a time when party politics was about appealing to the majority of voters.  Minimally, this meant getting people to feel like the party had their back in some way or another.  However, for many groups the GOP increasingly seems to be asserting they not only don’t have their back, but they find the members of the group to be somehow unsuitable as members of society.

If you are part of, relate to, or support one of the groups below, you should know how the GOP feels about you or your loved ones:

  • Women – unscrupulous homicidal baby incubators who left unregulated and controlled would be hurling infants off seaside cliffs in hormonal rages.
  • Gays/Lesbians – an affront to God, family, and good clean living; they won’t rest until they’ve turned everyone gay and destroyed the institutions of marriage and parenthood.
  • Immigrants – the illegal ones are job-stealing leeches on the underbelly of society that should be deported just as soon as the crops are in; the legal ones are sketchy too—they talk funny.
  • Scientists – a cabal of liberal tree-hugging geeks in white lab coats bent on corrupting children, destroying religion, and crimping oil industry profits; except the ones working on smartphone technology—they’re okay.
  • Atheists – an evil, amoral, hedonistic scourge sent by Satan to lead the weak of faith straight to Hell and plunge America into darkness… which would be bad, unless it’s the End Times.
  • Poor People – lazy, shiftless, unmotivated, drug-addled drains on society; they need to get off their asses and out in the fields for sub-poverty wages so we can send all the damned illegals back home.
  • African Americans – entitled and lazy, they will resort to crime and drugs if they don’t get their food stamps and welfare checks; except pro athletes—they’re valuable.
  • Muslims – terrorists… all of them; this is America dammit, and we do not sit idly by while some freedom hating loonies with exploding underwear try to rob us of our religious freedom.
  • Hispanics – see Illegal Immigrants; and even those that are legal are only hear to try and figure out how to sneak all their friends and relatives over the border.
  • Future Seniors – current seniors are good to go; future seniors had better cinch up their Depends because this notion that you should have health care and a government pension is unsustainable; but don’t worry, if you do it right during your working years, then you’ll be rich enough to enjoy retirement; if you didn’t… well, try to die unobtrusively.

…and I’m sure I missed a few groups, or maybe the GOP just hasn’t gotten around to them yet.

I can’t fathom how alienating all these groups will help the GOP in the election as these groups represent some significant portions of the population.  Their only election day salvation would seem to be  keeping all these undesirables from the polls.  Oh yeah, that’s already under way.


GOP outraged over criminals DREAMing

DREAMing Students
DREAMing Students (by Korean Resource Center on Flickr)

Republicans launched another salvo against the DREAM Act today by emphasizing that it would provide a path to citizenship for immigrants with criminal records.  There is truth to the claim, but the emphasis and outrage is overblown.

DREAM would allow those with up to 2 misdemeanor convictions which didn’t together total more than a 90 day sentence to still qualify.  However, that requirement needs to be understood in the larger context of how misdemeanor crimes are held against the rest of us.  It’s worth noting that such a criminal record might keep you out of certain security related jobs, but wouldn’t disqualify you from being in the military, and otherwise is considered a pretty minor smudge on your record.  Anyone with a felony record or even a series of minor crimes would not be eligible.

Further, applicants would be required to be admissible under Section 212 of the Immigration and Nationality Act.  This means they can be disqualified for any number of reasons including being on public assistance, illegal voting, visa or marriage fraud, or being deemed a criminal or security threat.  In addition, they must pass tests in civics and English and have all their taxes paid up.  There are certainly ample restrictions to assure the U.S. doesn’t admit undesirables or deadbeats under the proposed program.

As a side benefit, even applying for DREAM brings undocumented immigrants out of the shadows and on to the books.  Those that don’t qualify or don’t fulfill their obligation will be able to be deported or otherwise dealt with as they will now at least be registered with the INS.  Today we don’t even know these people exist.

Most importantly, what the DREAM Act does do is provide a way for people who have essentially grown up here and feel American to actually become American.  It forces them to prove their worthiness by serving in the military or completing a 2-year college education, thus making it unlikely these people will be a burden on our society.  Rather, it makes it more likely that immigrants qualifying for citizenship under DREAM will be self-sufficient and productive member of society.  And we can use all of them we can get.