Caffeine PantsThere is apparently no end to the amount of money people will spend to convince themselves they are doing something about their weight.  Witness, leggings with impregnated caffeine micro-capsules, designed to slim inches off your hips and thighs.

The marketing premise is that the micro-capsules are essentially made of Shea-butter with a metabolism boosting caffeine center.  As you walk around during the day, (Wait! you still have to walk?) your natural body heat melts the Shea butter which is absorbed into your skin along with the caffeine.  The result being that you’re then delightfully jittery with smooth supple legs.  Or maybe your cottage cheese riddled butt is now just sloshing around inside greasy skin tight pants all day.  I report, you decide.

These puppies will set you back $70, and according to the instructions should be worn 8 hours/day, 5 days/week , for a month to get the full benefit.  This means you’ll need several pair, or you’re gonna work up a funk by month’s end that will make your weight problems the least of your anti-social attributes.  P.T. Barnum was right.

Yet, don’t get me wrong, the notion of clothes with built in aerobic benefit is brilliant.  But rather than caffeine, they should have gone with “Ants in the Pants“.  Let’s be honest, you get a few dozen creepy-crawlies toolin’ around your tuckus and you will be out of your chair and dancing in no time.  Feel the burn.

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