Archive for May, 2010

Beware of Mammoth Farts

May 31st, 2010

MammothScience always turns out to be stranger than you might have dreamed.  Scientists are now claiming that our Clan of the Cave Bear ancestors may have hunted their way into the last ice age.

Methane is well known as a greenhouse gas, and ice cores show that atmospheric methane levels dropped significantly right about when the ice age started, and right about when the mammoths died out.  Herbivore “emissions” are known to be a major source of methane in the air, and the biggest vegans around would have been the mammoths.

Since Clovis hunters are generally believed to have hunted the Mammoth to extinction, this could mean that humans have been impacting global climate since before recorded history.  It’s just that last time, we knocked the thermostat down rather than up.

Granted, this is somewhat circumstantial, but if true, it leaves us with an interesting question.  Would we be willing to sacrifice herbivores if we could keep driving our cars and running our factories?  Consider that the two species responsible for most of the methane in today’s air are cows and termites.  Now it’s gonna be tough to get a Save the Termites campaign going in your neighborhood, and they are going to be all but impossible to eliminate.  However, we know how to find the cows.  But are we willing to give up ice cream and cheeseburgers?

Oh man… why couldn’t Lima beans and oysters be the cause.  Them I could live without.

Hippo…

May 30th, 2010

HippoDo you have an eye for social injustice?  Will you be in the Aspen area anytime soon?  If so, you can sit on a hippo and be part of art.

No, I don’t get it either.  But some so-called artists have constructed a hippo from straw and mud.  They are looking for volunteers to sit atop the beast and read the newspaper.  Every time you spot something in the news that strikes you as a social injustice, you are to let loose with a short blast on your whistle.

You are free to sign up for an hour for for a full day, or for every Monday until the ephemeral Hope Hippo melts back into the Earth from which it was created.  They say they provide you a whistle, but no word on whether or not they provide newspapers.

It seems they borrowed this obviously inspired idea to call attention to your intolerance for injustice.  Italy sported the first hippo back in 2005, and the Aspen Art Museum, fresh out of any good ideas, said, “What the hell?”

I guess this means you should feel free to build your own Hope Hippo.  Personally, that seems like a lot of work.  But I may spring for a new whistle and take to blowing it randomly while I read the paper on the deck.

My Son’s Immortal

May 29th, 2010

unmade bedI thought he was just a slob, but apparently my son Doug has exceptional instincts about his health.  A Kingston University study discovered that leaving your bed in a heap of sheets and blankets may actually lead to fewer bed bugs, and a healthier sleeper.

It seems the dust mites don’t fare well in dry environments, and leaving your bed open serves to let more of the moisture it accumulates off your body during the night into the room.  Drier mattresses mean fewer critters.  And fewer critters mean fewer allergies and other mite related health issues.

The study also notes that if there’s a lot of humidity in your home, that it won’t really matter.  Living in this area, I think that means that while junior may get a pass on bed making during the winter, there’s no reason the bunk shouldn’t be crisp and neat through the sultry summer months.

Yeah right… like that’s gonna happen.

Promoting the Good

May 28th, 2010

Hot on the heels of Andrew Cuomo’s long anticipated announcement of his run for NY Governor comes news that Rochester Mayor Robert Duffy will sit on the bottom of the ticket.

I get that this is potentially a great personal opportunity for Duffy.  It puts him for the first time on a statewide stage.  And given Cuomo’s likely fall victory, it also gives him a shot at succeeding to the big chair when and if Cuomo’s big scandal hits, or failing that, an eventual run for Governor himself someday.  But I have trouble with all the local news claims that this will be good for Rochester or good for upstate for Duffy to have the governor’s ear.  Historically, the Lt. Governor is one of the most invisible people in the state.  Maybe they have a behind the scenes influence we never see, but at any given time, I’ll bet most citizens couldn’t even name their #2 guy.

Locally, Duffy has been a popular mayor.  And love him or hate him, he’s shown the courage to take on some big issues like proposing the takeover of the city school district.  I’m personally still on the fence over that one, but politically, it was a risk to propose it and fight for it, and I do respect that.  Although now that Duffy is focusing on his career, that issue will be pretty much dead in the water.

I can understand that Duffy has eventual ambitions to be Governor.  But it’s not clear to me that being Lt. Governor is a productive step in that direction.  He might better leave his mark by finishing his reforms in Rochester, and then heading to statewide office as a successful mayor.  It seems he might get as much if not more visibility that way than by lurking in the Capitol for four to eight years.  And Rochester might benefit more that way as well.

The only one who seems to be getting a clear advantage here is Cuomo who has an effective name and useful partner to run a campaign with.

Un-Convent-ional Nuns

May 27th, 2010

Nun MassageThe opening line of the article says it all:

A group of nuns have set up a massage service as a new way of making ends meet after their chicken breeding business fell flat.

No wait!  I take that back.  I still have questions.  Why were Austrian nuns breeding chickens in the first place?  Isn’t that an odd business for a group of celibate hens to run?  And wasn’t it doomed to fail?

As a fall back position the women try a second pseudo sex related business?  Is this a theme?  Does the town already have a glut of bakeries or elder care facilities?

On the plus side, I’ve finally found a massage parlor I can frequent without arousing Kim’s suspicion.

Angling for Trouble

May 26th, 2010

A high school teacher has been suspended in Alabama for using the assassination of President Obama as a math problem.  It seems Geometry teacher Gregory Harrison of Corner High School in Jefferson Country needed some example of using angles and lines to keep his students engaged in the subject.  So he decided to create a scenario where students had to find optimal sniper positions for shooting the President.  And not just generically “the President”, as in suppose you were John Wilkes Booth or Charlie Guiteau, but let’s all pretend to shoot Obama.  Won’t that be fun?

It’s hard to see what could go wrong here.  Although when the Secret Service interrogated Mr. Harrison, they did their doggone best to ‘splain it to him.  The Secret Service did ultimately find that Harrison was not a credible threat, although they presumably at least branded him a colossal twit.  The school district was also not amused and further disciplinary action is still pending.

Fortunately, the teacher wasn’t talking about shooting Rush Limbaugh, or by now there would be a bill being introduced in Congress to require a license to carry a math degree.

Just Fix It!!

May 25th, 2010

I was watching a bunch of the Sunday talk news shows this past weekend, and most had at least a segment on the BP oil well disaster in the Gulf.  Several people from both sides of the political spectrum seemed incredulous that the government or the military or someone competent didn’t just go down there and stop the leak.  Why are we letting BP continue to flail at this?

Jason Sudeikis has a recurring character on SNL known as the Fix It Guy.  (See the video here at about the 2:15 mark).  The pundits and politicians reminded me of this character with their calls to “just fix it!”

AquamanA few sane voices tried to point out that the problem at this point is not one of funding or will power, or competence.  This is a really intractable engineering problem that no one knows how to fix.  BP and the other oil companies likely have the best chance of coming up with a solution, but they are making this up as they go.  It’s not like there’s an Army Engineering Corp unit sitting around a poker table grousing that if only they’d let them at it they’d have this puppy capped by sunrise tomorrow.  There’s no crackpot scientist with a fix waiting to go.  And so far Aquaman hasn’t returned BP’s call.

With regard to capping the damaged well, it’s not clear the government has much to offer, and they haven’t taken the lead because they are not the ones with the expertise.  Yet this doesn’t mean for a second that the government should let up on the pressure for BP to get this under control.  However, there are a couple of things the government should be actively doing or planning for.

First, the Interior department needs its house cleaned.  Clearly the incestuous relationship of the extractive industries and the Interior department has resulted in a system where there is essentially no oversight.  Yes, this department was pretty much dismantled by the Bush Administration, but Obama hasn’t cleaned it up at all since he’s been there.  If ever there was a wake up call, this was it.  Secretary Salazar should be out, and a good top down flush should follow.  It would send a clear message to the oil companies that the party is over.

Second, the cleanup is coming.  The environmental and economic damage from this spill will be enormous.  And this is something the government does know how to handle and should take a lead in.  BP should still get the bill (and not capped at $75m either), but they should not be organizing clean up efforts and making decisions about who gets what aid and when.  So far, while Obama hasn’t dropped the ball on this, he’s not stepped up to the plate either.

If this disaster has a chance of becoming “Obama’s Katrina”, it will be because of a failure on the cleanup and the organizational fixes to assure there is never a repeat of this.  Not because the well isn’t capped.  The time to act is now Mr. President.

And on an ironic side note, Sarah Palin accused Obama of being in bed with the oil companies.  Aside from the obvious, it’s worth noting that husband Todd spent 18 years working for BP.  So who’s in bed with whom?

Chip off the Old Block – Bristol Goes Pro

May 24th, 2010

Bristol PalinBristol Palin is now officially on the speaker’s circuit where she will command between $15k-$30k for an appearance.  This is a pittance compared to her mom Sarah, but is pretty decent butter and egg money for a girl who’s only claim to fame was getting knocked up at an inopportune moment for her family.

With no apparent sense of irony, she’s advertised as being available to speak at “conferences, fundraisers, special events and holidays, as well as women’s, youth, abstinence and “pro-life” programs.”  In fairness, perhaps she’s a great speaker.  But you’ll pardon me if I have a heavy suspicion that her major attraction is that she’s a name known in the press.  After all, the world is unfortunately not short of young people who’ve made a lousy decision or two and are now struggling to get their lives together.  But most of those kids don’t have national notoriety or a millionaire mom  to fall back on.

Tea Totaling

May 23rd, 2010

Rand PaulIt’s been an interesting week for Dr. Rand Paul, the new Republican candidate for Kentucky senator.  The son of popular Libertarian Presidential candidate Ron Paul, Tea Party candidate Rand is refreshingly ideological, even if it is making his opponents do victory fist pumps and his allies run for cover.

First the facts.  Paul was asked this week by Rachel Maddow if he supported the 1964 Civil Right Act.  He was asked because an earlier newspaper interview he had given suggested that perhaps he didn’t.  This was not “gotcha” journalism.  He was already on record here.  While Paul went out of his way to decry racism in any form and stated he supported most of the Civil Rights Act, he was clear that he believed that while government should not provide any public funding to any organization practicing discrimination, that he believed independent business should have maintained the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason.  He said he personally wouldn’t patronize such places, but felt they shouldn’t be illegal.  He has since clarified that because he agreed with so much of the bill, that he likely would have voted for it anyway.  It is also worth noting that he has never claimed he would work to repeal the Act, as some media reports have claimed.

Fresh on the heels of this can of worms he opened on himself, he announced that BP was being unfairly treated by the Obama administration.  His position is that the government should stay out of the oil spill mess in the Gulf.  This is simply an industrial accident.  BP said they’d clean it all up.  Stuff happens.  Get over it.

In the wake of these statements, the GOP is trying desperately to get Paul at arms length.  They do not want to be aligned with allowing businesses to bring back segregated lunch counters, and they are desperately trying to position the oil spill as Obama’s Katrina based on the opinion that he’s failed to do enough.  Meanwhile, they do not want to lose the support of the Tea Party, which still seems to be standing behind Paul.  Quite a pickle.

I have to admit a certain admiration for Rand Paul.  Not that I think his positions are sane, but he is being very true to the implications of the Libertarian ideology.  He’s not trying to twist or spin his position for political advantage, or just say what people want to hear.  He’s simply laying it on the line.  At least in that regard, he may be the most refreshing politician I’ve encountered in some time.

The other thing I like about this is he is practicing, to some degree, what I’ve advocated for in previous columns.  Specifically, back testing your ideological positions to see what would be different if the government was being run by your espoused policies back in the day.  I think this is especially illustrative when applied to the anti-government Libertarian Tea Party movement.  Were this the historical philosophy of government we would not have Social Security, Civil Rights, public education, or Medicare.  You’d be able to walk on Lake Erie by now,the Chicago River would still be aflame, and the air in Los Angeles would be toxic.

The point here being that extreme positions are seldom useful.  Government isn’t inherently evil, nor are taxes, the individual desire to succeed, free market enterprise, or regulation.  It’s a balancing act.  The sweet spot is in the middle.  The irony is that most Tea Party advocates are pining for the good old days of the 50s and 60s.  A time of economic growth, prosperity, the rise of the American Middle Class.  Heady days to be sure.  But they were also a time of comparatively high taxes, lots of regulation, and lots of government investment in our collective future.

The Tea Partiers are right, there is significant dysfunction in our government.  They are right that change is needed.  But are they advocating in the right direction?  Do any of us want to live in the world Rand Paul envisions?

I don’t.

That’s Gotta Frost Your Nuggets

May 22nd, 2010

Retiree Jack Harris spent the last seven years working to complete a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle… only to discover he’s missing the final piece.

Jack

Adding insult to injury, the company that makes the puzzle says this one is out of production and so it can’t supply a replacement.

There’s a lesson in here somewhere.  It might be to stick to crosswords.

Father’s Day Is Coming

May 21st, 2010

BaconAnd nothing says, “You’re the greatest!” like a planned coronary.  So don’t delay.  Enter now to win your dad $5000 and a year’s supply of bacon, courtesy of Oscar Meyer.

And when I say “your dad” I’m speaking not only generally to the readers, but specifically to my kids.  Come on, entry is through Facebook and only involves writing a 50 word statement about why I deserve this and why I love bacon.  This is barely a typical homework assignment.  And besides, you know I never eat bacon alone, so there’s an upside for you too.

After all, as the entry page says,

Like bacon at breakfast, Dads are an essential ingredient of the family.

Meaning we are something to look forward to, multi-purpose, irresistible, crunchy, possessing a bit to much fat around the edges, flammable, and ultimately a bad influence on you.  Okay, maybe I should have quit while I was ahead.  But you get the idea!  Now get moving!

Porn Trumps Science

May 20th, 2010

This may well be the most perverted use of pornography I’ve ever seen. It was used by the GOP to scuttle a science education bill.

The America COMPETES act, instituted under the Bush Administration in 2007, funds a lot of science, technology, and math education programs.  This is one of the few pro-science programs to come out of the Bush years, and has funded innovative programs necessary to keep us globally competitive in the years to come.  It was up for renewal in Congress, and had over 100 co-sponsors in the House, and left committee last month with a wide margin of bipartisan support.  It was well on its way to passage too, until Rep. Ralph Hall (R-TX) hatched a plan.

Hall

Rep. Ralph Hall's Pornographic Portrait

It seems that several GOP members were concerned about the level of spending authorized by the bill in these tough economic times.  Fair enough, and a reasonable debate to have.  But rather than debate the issue on the merits, Hall introduced a motion to recommit.

His motion proposed to add a new provision that would bar the federal government from paying the salaries of employees who’ve viewed pornography at work.

The way the motion works is that Congressmen either need to vote against it, authorizing the bill to continue on its way to a floor vote, or vote for it, which causes the bill to go back to committee where it will languish and possibly die.  But this motion was laden with “Do you still beat your wife?” strategy.  Congressmen voting against the motion would surely look forward to their opponents in the upcoming mid-term election running ads about how they voted to allow federal employees to watch porn at work.  Yet voting for it means a dramatic delay in the funding, likely causing the current programs to end while the bill tries to make its way out of committee again.  And to no one’s surprise, the risk-averse Congress voted for the motion. Thus cementing their anti-porn cred, and condemning the bill to committee Limbo.

No one is advocating for government workers to spend your tax dollars watching porn.  There are rules against that now, and surely better ways to deal with it than amendments to unrelated legislation.  But in the end, this motion had nothing to do with porn in the workplace.  It had only to do with using fear of porn as a political lever to kill an otherwise good bill.  And that is the true perversion here.

What’s With All the B.S.?

May 19th, 2010

Mortar BoardIn the increasingly competitive economy, does everyone need a 4-year degree?  To maintain our edge in the world, the US arguably has a shortage of homegrown people with advanced degrees.  But we’ve also got a lot of people with Master’s Degrees driving bus or managing stores at the mall.

The notion that a four-year degree is essential for real success is being challenged by a growing number of economists, policy analysts and academics.  But this flies in the face of cultural wisdom that says everyone is better off with a college degree.  After all, aren’t all the manufacturing jobs and other good paying non-degree requiring jobs headed overseas?

There’s certainly truth that college graduates tend to earn more than those who don’t go to school.  But that only really counts if you finish your degree and then actually get a job in the field you studied in.  Only 36% of students finish their 4-year degree in 4 years.  That’s a lot of money spent on kids who drop out or change career paths mid-stream.  Is it worth it?

I would argue that college has the opportunity to be an enriching and intellectually enlightening experience for anyone, regardless of their path in life.  But that assumes the student is ready, open, and engaged when they are attending.  I don’t think that’s always the case.  Further, from a social cost factor, should we as a country be subsidizing the advanced education of people ultimately destined to work in fields that don’t require it?  In many respects, it might make more sense to argue that money should be spent on healthcare for all rather than bachelor’s degrees for all.

The real question becomes, why has our culture shifted to the point there is almost a stigma associated with kids who opt not to pursue college?  As if somehow they are less able or less worthy than those headed to a university.  I don’t personally believe that’s true.  I know people with advanced degrees that aren’t too bright and high school graduates that are brilliant.  I expect you do too.  I know craftsmen who can build with skill and style that no PhD is going to approach.  Does that make them less worthy as people?

I think a lot of this comes from our collective notion that skill-wise and intellectually we are created equivalently.  That any one of us could be President, or a doctor,or an engineer, or a rock star, if only we try hard enough.  That’s sheer sophistry.  We are anything but equivalent, and personally I’m very glad of that.  I’ve come to realize that I’m not capable of very many things, and no amount of trying is going to improve that.  I’m glad there are people who not only have the skills I lack, but take pride and joy in performing them.

Yes, we need scientists and engineers, but we need welders, auto mechanics, short order cooks, and musicians too.  I would much prefer my own son be a skillful and contented electrician than be a disenfranchised MBA credentialed middle manager who wakes up every morning wondering why his life turned out this way.

Diversity is not just about race, religion, and sexual orientation.  It’s about embracing and celebrating differences in aptitude as well as the choices we make.  Our lives do not all lie along a single path.

Squirrelmegeddon

May 18th, 2010

Mad SquirrelThere are members of my family who seem to have it in for the poor squirrel.  They go to extraordinary measures to deprive them of food or otherwise discourage them from taking up residence in the yard.

One such fellow operates his own Squirrel Relocation Program whereby squirrels are trapped, given new identities, and transported to a new home where they are expected to blend with their new neighbors and keep a low profile for fear of being seen returning to their old haunt.

Other family members have a more direct approach, combining target practice with the squirrel relocation efforts.

Personally, I don’t get it.  My approach with nature has always been that as long as it’s outside, it’s free to be.  Once it steps into the house, all bets are off.  But then again, that was before I got wind of the family in Strongsville, Ohio who called police because a squirrel had trapped them in their house.

The squirrel was desperate to get in the house, according to the residents. The squirrel kept jumping at the garage door and would run at the residents any time they opened a door.

There’s no report on whether or not the attack was provoked.  Had the squirrel’s family members been slowing disappearing one by one until the poor despondent rodent simply couldn’t take it any more and snapped?

Clearly, the lesson here is to not piss off the little guys or they will unleash a 6oz can of furred fury on your butt.  And if you think the neighbors talk about you now, wait until you and the family have to be rescued by police from an angry squirrel.

The Limits of Capitalism

May 17th, 2010

It’s said that all things are good in moderation.  It turns out that’s even true with capitalism.  I’ve written a lot lately about the need for regulation to contain the natural desire of business to abuse consumers and workers when competition and worker mobility are inadequate.  But this is yet another way in which capitalism has its limits, and government intervention is needed.

Coral SnakeThe short story is that there is a looming anti-venom shortage.  Specifically, the antidote to coral snake venom is going out of production.  Pfizer has produced the anti-venom for 40 years, but it turns out the coral snake, while terribly deadly, just doesn’t bite all that many people.  The expense of manufacturing the small amount of medicine required in the country is cost prohibitive.  From a business perspective, the correct decision is to stop making coral snake anti-venom.  There’s no money in it.

Yet that would be little comfort if my son were to be bitten by a coral snake.  He could die, or in the  best case spend weeks in intensive care on a ventilator, all for want of a simple medicine that is not profitable for anyone to make.

This is exactly the sort of situation where the government needs to provide subsidies to keep this medicine in production for the greater good of the people.  This is not a huge issue.  It’s not big dollars.  It’s not thousands of people.  But for the 100 or so people bitten each year and their families, it’s pretty damned important.

There are simply very few positions that make sense as an absolute doctrine.  Add capitalism to the list (again).