I’m not sure the Journal of the American Medical Association will publish this, so I’d better get the news out here. My kids – each of them – consumed 1/2 stalk of asparagus at dinner tonight. Granted, they were told by their autocratic father that they had to, but they ate it without undue fuss. However, not without undue drama.
As each piece crossed their lips the facial contortions would set in. I’m pretty sure Socrates didn’t make that much of a face sipping the hemlock. But with dinner behind them, their faces are slowly returning to normal. They are both expected to make a full recovery.
On a related note, their strategic thinking still seems a bit under par. When faced with “undesirable food”, their strategy was to leave it until dead last, and then cut it up into microscopic pieces, thus prolonging the agony. Of course it made for a better show that way, so I didn’t mind. Consider renting them for your next dinner party.
In case you’ve been experiencing anxiety over your family lately, I thought I’d just provide a view of a lower bar under which your family is unlikely to crawl – regardless of how drunk Uncle Harry gets at the reunion.
Did you ever notice that sometimes the most interesting things are things you find when looking for something else entirely? I discovered that Countries which begin with the letter “I” have a startling correlation to the list of countries where religion is a news-worthy topic. Consider this list:
India (home of Hindu)
Indonesia (active Muslim unrest)
Iran (Muslim theocracy and nascent nuclear power)
Iraq (do I really need to explain this one?)
Ireland (intra-Christian squabbles with occasional explosions
Israel (home of 3 major religions, with feuding between two of them)
Italy (have you heard there’s a new Pope in town?)
Iceland (home of many blondes, guys tend to worship them)
Okay, I’ll admit to Iceland being a stretch, but the rest are dead on. Conversely, what other countries can you think of where religion is a major media topic? The only one I can come up with that’s not on the list is us. Which leads me to conclude that maybe we should negotiate with Iceland to swap names. Alternatively, we could just get ourselves off the list and keep our name. Yeah, I like that idea better. Let’s go with that one.
So shoe bomber Richard Reid, the most hated man among airline passengers, gets 13 years in prison. This is the man who now forces me to consider how presentable my socks are prior to going on a trip. I now actually consider how easy my shoes are to remove and put on again when I travel. And frankly, I’m unconvinced that any of us are any safer in the air as a result of having our footwear x-rayed. I suppose I should be grateful he didn’t hide the explosives elsewhere, or I’d have to be worrying about the whole clean underwear thing too.