Archive for May, 2004

May 27th, 2004

———————————————————-

Just when you thought radical Christians couldn’t get any further out on the limb. A group is now proposing to take over the state government of a southern state (exact locale yet to be chosen) and get them to secede from the union. In reading their web site, the straw threatening to break the camel’s back seems to be that “Gay marriage will be foisted upon us in the very near future.” I wonder if anyone has explained that no one will be required to marry a person of the same sex. They can rest assured that the gays don’t want them either.

May 27th, 2004

———————————————————-

I ‘ve been thrown out of a bar or two over the years, but you have to admire the talent required to be thrown out of ALL of them.

May 27th, 2004

———————————————-

Ever wonder what all those wacky Indians kick back to after a hard night of solving all your tech support problems on the phone? Wonder no more…

May 21st, 2004

———————————————————

Well I haven’t done anything creative lately, but it’s good to know that someone is picking up the slack.

May 15th, 2004

———————————————————

Patriotism knows no bounds.

Key quote: “Kudos to the Memphis Toby Keith Fan Club that morphed itself into an OTOFTC battalion and road tripped to Fort Knox. Way to Go!!”

May 13th, 2004

—————————————–

The following is evidence that:

a) the Kenya Board of Tourism is on a really tight budget.

b) alcohol and video cameras don’t mix

c) cats got rhythm

d) you have no self control because you can’t watch it just once

And now for the answer…

May 11th, 2004

————————————–

Time Warner and their Road Runner service have just usurped Al Gore. How you might ask? Their latest ad campaign shows a small child asking a typical small child’s question. That is, a question designed to convince their parents they are singularly unqualified to have a child. In one ad, the kid asks, “Mom, do bees have ears?”

To which she replies, “I dunno Honey. Let’s ask Road Runner.” You can imagine how it goes on from here. And to save you the trouble, apparently bees are deaf which explains how they can put up with that infernal buzzing all day.

But what about Al? Well, if you recall, Al “invented the Internet”. A statement which probably cost him the election as all the tech savvy young largely Democratic geeks realized he was just as full of hot air as the balloon from Crawford. But now Time Warner apparently IS the Internet. Let’s hope people are brighter than the ads give us credit for.

May 9th, 2004

——————————————————————-

This is a product which obviously doesn’t understand its own market. The point of duct tape is to use it with pride. A real man wants to show off the hoses, gloves, auto body panels, toys, and underwear which is only held together by the magic grey ribbon of life. After all, right after the strong nuclear force, it’s duct tape that holds the universe together. Praise it openly!